Reflect - ReSTART - Get A New Beginning

marcus mottley Dec 29, 2021

By Dr. Marcus Mottley

 

Not every Fresh Start comes about because we want it. Sure, most do. We anticipate New Year's Resolutions. We get excited about moving to a new place or starting a new job. But sometimes, this entire process of starting over can feel more negative than positive. We might be leaving someplace where we’d rather stay. Even if the outcome is desired, such as a divorce, there are many memories and baggage to sort through. The new beginning which follows can feel more overwhelming than exciting.

So, how do you deal with these situations without losing your sanity? How do you do it in such a way as to take something positive away from the experience?

The answer isn’t as complicated as you might think. No, it’s not simply a matter of a fresh mindset, though this can help. Sometimes your endings will take a little more work than this to shift them into new beginnings. Let’s find out how.

This is quite a long article. You can read the rest...

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Change HOW You Communicate!

marcus mottley Dec 26, 2021
 

By Dr. Marcus Mottley

 

Communication is the foundation of everything we do. Whether you leave the house or not, you still communicate with others daily, be it online or in person. How well you get along with people hinges on how well you communicate. How successful you are in life hinges on how well you communicate. There are a few 'rules' that you can apply to all of your communications.

Why?

This is specifically for work or professional communication. Often, we waste a lot of time and energy communicating when we don't actually know why we're bothering. So, think about what you would like to accomplish?

This can also be applied to your personal life, even idle chit-chat can have some type of purpose, whether it's bonding or getting to know someone.

When others initiate a conversation, consider why it's taking place. If you can't understand why try to gently guide the dialogue to determine the why. The purpose of this is to focus and understand the why to avoid rabbit trails...

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marcus mottley Dec 23, 2021
 
Would you agree with me that 2020 and 2021 have been difficult years for most people on the planet?
 
And, would you agree that most people probably want to put this year behind them and are looking forward to a better, less stressful, 'more normal' 2022?
 
As a Coach, people have raised questions about what they can do to put 2020 and 2021 firmly behind them in their rear view mirror. 
 
My suggestion is a two-step process:  (1) they quickly reflect on these last two years, and then (2) turn their attention to making a FRESH START in 2022. 
 
I developed a short program to help the people I caoch manage the first step in the process. It is called REFLECTION and it contains 2 easy-to-read eBooks and short 10 video recordings. 
 
Would you like to get it? At no cost?
 
 
Your Holdiay Gift!
 
Have a safe and enjoyable holiday! 
 
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Don't Blindly Believe 'His-Story"

marcus mottley Dec 21, 2021

By Dr Marcus Mottley

 

My late mother, Hyacinth Mottley warned me “Don’t believe or follow ‘his-tory.” (She said it wasn't even a ‘story’… It was instead a ‘tory’ (meaning lies and fabrications – fake facts).

Frist of all, she said, ‘his-tory’ was not only biased against women – but left them out entirely or at least relegated them to being ‘foot maidens’ (who were forced to wait on men – hand and foot).

Secondly, ‘his-story’ not only denigrated ‘native peoples’ from around the world, but, according to her, covered up and ‘white-washed’ ‘his’ criminal (genocidal) contribution of a ‘thousand years’ of ‘evil’ practices.

Thirdly, my mother encouraged me to write my own story and to encourage all ‘native people’ to write their own stories.

Where did she get her knowledge from? She was a wide...

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STOP! Don’t Kneel & Pray!

marcus mottley Dec 19, 2021

By Dr. Marcus Mottley

My late mother, Hyacinth Mottley (1914 – 2021), wrote a book when she was 97 years old. One of the memorable things that she said in her book was this:

I read somewhere that a former slave (Frederick Douglass) said the following: “I prayed for twenty years as a slave but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.”

When I was a child the adults and the preachers used to tell us to watch and pray. But I can tell you that I don’t watch and pray… I walk and pray! And even now that I am not walking like I used to… I pray as I go… I pray as I sit… I pray as I lie in bed… I pray all the time…. morning… noon… and night.

And that is how you should pray.

I read somewhere else that “practical prayer is harder on the soles of your feet than on the knees.” I guess that happens to those who walk as they pray.. rather than those who kneel and pray.

Sometimes you are walking...

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How THEY Used the Idea of “Survival of the Fittest” (And How THEY Are Still Using It…)

marcus mottley Dec 11, 2021

By Dr. Marcus Mottley

 

During the US holiday that they call “Thanksgiving Day”, I was very pensive as I reflected on what that meant for so many people.

Particularly for those who were NOT ‘celebrating’ and ‘giving thanks’ (or who shouldn’t have been celebrating… and who alternatively had every reason to be sad). I even wrote an article on my thoughts on those issues.

And that led me to think of the much celebrated idea of “survival of the fittest”. It is a phrase that was coined by Herbert Spencer after he had read “The Origin of the Species” by Charles Darwin.

Darwin himself used another term ‘natural selection’ but later indicted that he preferred Spencer’s ‘survival of the fittest’ and later used it in his 5th edition of his book.

As you may know, ‘survival of the fittest’ has been used by people ever since, to excuse and or promote their racist actions...

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Rock Bottom for the New Year?

marcus mottley Dec 08, 2021

By Dr. Marcus Mottley

 

“Hitting rock bottom” is a phrase that I heard and used almost everyday when I was an Addiction Counselor in the District of Columbia working with addicts from all backgrounds!

Two things happened yesterday that reminded me of the phrase.

The first thing is that I received a call from a family member of one of my former clients notifying me of her passing. The client had been an addict from age 15 and had also been diagnosed with HIV. But… she had been in recovery from heroin addiction for 31 years. (Yep, it has been that long since I was in the field.) During those 31 years she had also been managing her many other health challenges (as you can imagine) exquisitely well.

Her journey to recovery and management of her health challenges (emotional, mental and physical) is one that should be written and recorded as a blueprint for others.

The one thing that stands out for me as a clinician is the precise event and the exact moment when...

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Are You Using Your 'Tools'?

marcus mottley Dec 06, 2021

By Dr. Marcus Mottley

 

The World has the tools to end the pandemic. They’re not being used properly.” That was one of the headlines on CNN yesterday. The statement was attributed to Paul Hunter, professor in medicine at the University of East Anglia in the UK.

In his interview, Dr. Hunter contended that like all pandemics, this one will fade away and out of view as a result of human ‘tools’ like vaccine development, contact tracing, genomic analysis, containment measures and international cooperation. In other words, “the world has a toolkit to bring an end to the pandemic as quickly as possible.

Yes! But…

His major complaint is that even after almost two years, those ‘tools’ are not being put to their best use.   

So… there it is…. We have the ‘tools’… but we are not putting them to the best use!

Not globally… not regionally… not locally!

That forced me to think...

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Tips To Deal With Pandemic Uncertainty

marcus mottley Dec 05, 2021

By Dr. Marcus Mottley

 

If you feel like you are dealing with uncertainty all the time you are not alone. The last two hears have been a wild and uncertain ride. No one could have predicted the worldwide distress that has been unleashed. The coronavirus has changed life as we know it. Our sense of ‘normalcy’ has become unrecognizable in many ways.

Public health policies, including physical distancing, social changes, rules, regulations, and quarantines have triggered feelings of fear and anxiety for many. There have been a lot of unknowns for people to deal with.

Economic insecurity, changes to daily routines as well as changes to the fabric of ‘normal’ life in the World in many ways. This holiday season is also fast approaching and many face uncertainty in the coming days, weeks and months. Try some of the following suggestions to protect your sanity, build your resiliency and stay well during the pandemic… however long it lasts!

Routine

In...

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Mentally & Emotionally Vaccinated

Uncategorized Dec 03, 2021

By Dr. Marcus Mottley

 

So how can a person be mentally and emotionally vaccinated?

Idris (not his real name), one of my coaching clients, is someone that I deeply respect for a lot of reasons. Over the last three years he has had a lot of burdens to carry – much more so than many of us.

In 2019, he lost his father who died of cancer. Later that year, he was in a terrible car accident which was the fault of some who was drugging, drinking… and driving. He spent y months confined to a hospital bed and then to a wheelchair. After that he had to endure months of physical therapy. And, just when he was beginning to move around independently, his oldest brother died of the same type of cancer as their father.

Next, he got a job (he is a civic engineer) with a company that had a contract with the government…. And then, yep, you guessed it: Covid19 descended on all of us. The country went on lockdown… and since he was the last in – he was the first to...

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